The Purpose of White Chocolate

The giant truffle case of life holds something for everyone.

Walter B from Menominee WI writes:

Dear Tyler,

What is white chocolate and is it good for anything?

Walter,

If you take a piece of chocolate and remove all the chocolateness from it, the remaining lump of congealing pale byproduct is white chocolate. On the face of it, this seems both senseless and evil, I know. It seems strange that anyone would want to eat this fatty stuff. But we must try to accept, even if we cannot understand.

For too long, the forces of chocolate have been weakened by internal divisions. In fact, we need each other. If chocolate companies weren’t able to sell the excess filler which is white chocolate, they would be forced to charge much more for proper – i.e. dark – chocolate. Like Jack Sprat and his wife, whose name, in a reflection of the times, was apparently not worth mentioning…

Sorry, meandering. Like those two, between us, and with the help of milk chocolate lovers, we lick the candy plate clean. The giant truffle case of life is large enough for all shades. Though we may not agree, we should embrace the milk chocolate crowd, and yes, even the white chocolate folk, as our slightly sticky brothers.

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About Tyler

Tyler attended the University of Free Luna at Aristarchus, where he mostly participated in the Irrelevancy Studies department. In a freak accident, he was sent back through time. We should be back on the moon by now. Really, people!

Comments

The Purpose of White Chocolate — 1 Comment

  1. White chocolate is a bit like cinnamon toast without cinnamon, or the less complicated ice water without ice. All three ingestible items might be quite welcome, depending upon the setting.

    However, don’t get me started on fat-free cream cheese, which should be avoided in all circumstances.

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